The year of the unicorn

Hillary Clinton.

I am qualified because i say so.
I spent 8 years in the White House.
I spent 8 years in the Presidential bed (but all of the fun took place outside, and i was never much involved...).
I was married to the President (obviously, since i spent 8 years in the presidential bed).
In fact, during those 8 years, i was the real power behind the presidency, Bill merely contenting himself by fucking around.
Only thing worth remembering about me, is whatever i am telling you, you have no reason to doubt, and all the perfect reasons to believe me. because i say so.
I am better than the other candidate, because i pretend so.
Matter of fact, the other candidate happens to be a Balck man...
You understand now, why i am naturally better than the other "Black" candidate.
Shit i almost forgot, i am a female, and that's also a good reason for me to be president.
Imagine the fun you'll have to have a female president and because there is an absolute need for a female president in American history.
Don't worry, i am not about to change anything. Business as usual, but at least you'll have the luxury of having a woman in charge.


Barack Obama

I am Black.
I am Black (but not too much Black, something that makes me appealable to many white Americans)
In fact i am just half Black, and the best part (but something which should not be too much emphasize to my potential black electorate...).
I don't even speak Jive and hate Rap music.
I just cannot help but love Jews and everything Israel.
I will say and do anything to get those Southern votes, including say & do anything.....and change of spiritual mentor every week, and renounce any churches i have attended.
You want proof of that ?, i was a Muslim once, and i renounced it, so you see how easy it is.
The other candidate always focused on my Blackness.
You need a Black president , just to make you feel better about yourselves by voting for a guy who shouldn't be in the race in the first place, if it wasn't for the color of his skin.